Wednesday, January 30, 2008
happy happy day today..
don't know why..
because everyday i'm also happy..
haha..
just hang around school after repairing the planes..
sat with aishah,haiqal and jasiman..
well tried to accompany aishah..
but i ended up disturbing her..
haha..
that's what i do to stay happy..
disturb people..
well at least joan didn't ignore me totally today..
at least she said hi and turn around when i called her..
and i found her at the canteen when she said she already went home..
naughty joan..
haha..
(X ..
i know i'm bloody lame..
and dear..
:) big smile on my face always..
haha..
short post..
because i'm fucking lazy to continue..
Posted by ~angel arthas~ at 5:48 AM
Monday, January 28, 2008
crossroads
I've been traveling for so long, so lost till I stumbled upon
Two roads in front of me I had to take my time
To the right I can see a church, I took a step in that direction first
But to the left there was a watering hole
where they were whisky drunk and now that's where I wanna pray
So far down here just holding on
If I was perfect then this would be easy
Either road is plausible on both I could drown
I walk through the center with no rules to guide me
I realize its difficult but now I can see
There's gotta be another way to go, a way that's much more feasible
A combination of all these lies, to set your path without choosing a side
I make decisions one at a time and no I never say I'm always right
I'm confident that when I stand on my own you'll see the truest
form of a man when I'm shining through
So far down here just holding on
If I was perfect then this would be easy
Either road is plausible on both I could drown
I walked through the center with no rules to guide me
I realize its difficult but now I can see
Oh I hear it now, all the religious rhythms
The left isn't better, its just more of the same
Condemning all these people for what they believe
I'll climb to the top of their mountain again
No one is going to save me this way
And the closer to the top I get the more they take aim
But I'm not you, I may not be perfect but I've always been true
I may not be worthy in your eyes
Climb up from the bottom for the last time,
the last one, the last one, the last time
If I was perfect then this would be easy
Either road is plausible on both I could drown
I walked through the center with no rules to guide me
I realize its difficult but now I can see
this lyrics clearly shows about my life..
of the choices that i make..
and about the mistakes.,
and showing that i'm not perfect..
mistakes could end up with consequences..
well i can't seem to get the song..
but just go to youtube..
and type avenged sevenfold..
and the song crossroads..
enjoy
Posted by ~angel arthas~ at 5:46 AM
Friday, January 25, 2008
unbearable pain today..
my last year as a student in yfc..
i wanted to stand down with happy memories..
but instead i cut my finger..
a bad cut..
i can see my flesh and bone..
and it bled very badly..
even my shirt had blood on it..
stupid motor..
the alen screw was lost..
and when i started the motor.,
the motor just flew back..
as you know the wires are behind it..
eventually my finger was there..
and it hit me like a lightning..
the next thing i knew.,
my finger was bleeding..
shit..
i put it under the running water..
just to stop the bleeding temporarily..
and the fucking toilet ran out of tissues..
i have to run to the bookshop and get myself tissue and plaster..
lucky i have my dear..
my dear wrap the plaster with tender loving touch..
my finger didn't hurt from then on..
thanks dear..
i love you loads..
haha..
well i got nothing else..
happy weekend everyone..
Posted by ~angel arthas~ at 5:47 AM
Thursday, January 24, 2008
life is never tha same without her..
it's almost a year..
since iris left for australia..
one year is a long time..
she hasn't e-mailed me since..
or contacted me..
i'm longing to hear from her..
haiz..
i miss her hair..
i miss her voice..
i miss her hand..
i miss her wisdom..
and i miss her love..
but joan is not like her..
just that both of their hairs are the same..
and both of them are cute..
haha..
alright..
i don't want to get mushy mushy here..
haiyoh me..
haha..
well today i saw a different kind of faces..
upset faces.,
joyful faces.,
some even don't have any expressions..
haha..
maybe the song i wrote suits them..
The Faces Of Failures..
but i would like to congratulate those who made it..
i don't know how good you guys did.,
but at least poly is the best choice..
well eden got 17 points for her o level..
after cut off points..
that was 2 years ago..
now she's in year 2 of poly..
and doing well in design course..
at temasek poly..
haha..
what a pretty girl she is..
still remember how she pushed me down a hill..
and i ended up with grass all over my shirt..
haha..
i hope she can teach me some subjects..
so i can get good grades for o level..
and when i graduate this year.,
i'll meet eden at temasek poly..
haha.
but she'll be in the third year..
and i'm still in first year..
haha..
Posted by ~angel arthas~ at 6:03 AM
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
today was a great day..
i guess..
first thing in the morning.,
i sat with qiu ling at the study corner..
just to keep her companied..
guess what?.
she revised her work since 7.30 till 8.40..
damn hard working..
her house so near.,
come so early..
haha..
well she's very studious..
since she knew.,
she said joan was cute.,
and sometimes so blur..
haha..
i agree..
her 'blurness' makes her cute..
qiu ling also mentioned that joan was bullied last time..
thta's what qiu ling said..
nevermind that..
now qiu ling knows she's my friend..
now i can hang out with her..
after school today was very dull..
all i did was ate my lunch and.,
did my mind map..
for dnt..
and also helped ah bun with his maths homework..
i didn't know that i'm good at e.maths..
i managed to find the answer in a very short way..
while junxiong,"the smart ass".,
did a very long method and got most probably the wrong answer..
haha..
than i called joan to disturb her..
haha..
she's inside ops room and i'm just outside..
haha..
she came out giving me this face..
=.='''..
which makes her more cute..
haha..
well enough for today already..
i'm damn tired..
Posted by ~angel arthas~ at 6:31 AM
Monday, January 21, 2008
last saturday..
the musical..
beauty world..
it's quite fun though..
although i don't like the word musical..
it's like a movie..
only that it's life with the moving props..
and the band up on the upper level..
it's just amazing how they did it..
and now about today..
chemistry first..
our mr law didn't teach..
he faltered when he stood in front of the class..
he doesn't know what to teach..
i felt very joyful somehow..
i was smiling..
that's when mdm tay confronted me..
haha..
she was laughing along too..
in his seat,he's eager to give the answer or ask questions..
but when he goes up front.,
he got nothing to say at all..
haha..
my favourite part..
after chemistry was..
english..
lucky i did my essay earlier last week..
so didn't have to panic..
but than mdm lau gave us an essay to write..
ah i was like..
whining..
45 mins to complete a full essay..
and i did managed to write 2 essays..
the first was wrong..
so i did the second correct one..
what a wonder..
i didn't know i can write so fast and so much..
after that was cdp aka cme..
mr bala told us about the performance that we have to put up..
during assembly..
it's theme was courtesy..
i thought of doing a gig..
our class have potential singers..
like zulaikha,gwen..
actually that's the only 2 i know can sing..
than i'll compose the song..
about courtesy..
thinking of the title..
maybe "courtesy is"..
yes..
i think that'll suit the lyric i'm going to right..
haha..
i don't want to go on talking about today..
just that today i got to disturb joan..
than she'll give me her cute face and gesture..
=.=''' ..
haha..
she's damn cute..
tomorrow going to disturb her again..
haha..
well got to go..
Posted by ~angel arthas~ at 5:47 AM
Friday, January 18, 2008
this could be the end..
of something that i never have planned..
well weird dream last night..
i saw a girl's hand..
it was smooth..
i touched her..
her skin was smooth..
it felt like someone's hand..
i lay on her hand..
resting there for a while..
her hair was long..
and very smooth..
it's like feather tickling your face..
i have seen it before..
i thought it was iris..
but it wasn't her..
because i knew she highlighted her hair..
this dream was like a fantasy..
it's like i'm really there..
enough of my dreams..
i don't know why this dreams keep bugging me..
help me..
even if i talk to joan also no use..
i'll still dream the same thing..
the brave knight shall fall when..
he loses his princess..
never ever in my life i felt like this..
nevermind..
now talking about today..
physical training for the seniors..
i ended up leading the pt..
jog 1 round..
push ups..
jog another round..
sit ups..
rest..
and jog 2 more rounds..
than the sec 2 really need to get embarrased..
that was just a minor scolding..
it's my first time shouting and scolding them in the open..
but i felt great..
all were silent after that..
i really want to laugh at them..
but i have to hold it..
because they'll think i'm joking..
for them,.
they have attitude problem..
talk back to instructor..
talk bad about the trainers..
don't like scolding..
but still repeats the same thing..
since we have the green light to give them no mercy.,
than i'll take my chance..
i'm not trying to be bias..
but i think that majority of the express student sucks..
they really do..
attitude problem..
that i can handle..
but not many sec 2 are responsible..
i feel like swearing them..
cursing none stop..
but i have to control..
but after i scold them.,
i'll just relax..
laugh while they are still shocked after the scolding..
haha..
it's fun..
try doing it to your juniors..
you'll laugh once you see their faces..
i'm giving you a tip..
Posted by ~angel arthas~ at 5:58 AM
Saturday, January 12, 2008
damn it..
i'm freaking tired today..
all aching from head to toe..
my legs felt like it's going to come off..
the cca open house wasn't a big success..
but at least the plan that we planned since december.,
came through..
all thanks to the officials,hillgrove warriors,.
christopher,kevin and russell and the gang..
they made this cca open house successful..
but in my whole 3 years of recruiting member.,
this was the worst year..
only 18 students..
8 from express,3 from technical and 7 from academic..
our target of 10 express were not even met..
shit..
this is because of the location and the timing of the sec 1s come..
our cca was like a uniform group..
if you join uniform group,.
you cant join yfc..
that policy made many sec 1s don't want to join..
and they saw the uniform groups first..
so they would have a higher percentage of signing up with uniform groups..
we were located at the floorball court..
nobody wants to go there because it's very far from the gate or anywhere..
maybe this year's cca sucks..
but the demonstration all are very magnificent..
only the recruitment and the location of booth..
we should be located at the uniform group rather than the floorball court..
because we will stand out from the uniform groups..
shit..
well i don't wish to continue..
what's done cannot be undone..
haiz..
the week ended in exhaustion..
the whole week i went home at 6+..
and my body is lucky to be used to it..
used to 3 days of non-stop work..
i had no sleep for 3 days training..
shit..
my chest is now in agony..
yesterday and the day before.,
i did a lot of carrying of things..
and even do some workouts..
shit..
let me tell you what i dreamt last night..
it's to me bloody scary..
i was walking to a very strange place..
i'm sure it was a hospital..
because there are beds,sick people..
and i'm in the emergency ward..
i don't know what i was doing there..
all of it was like so real..
all of a sudden,.
i saw alex,joan,n my whole class and friends..
they ran towards me..
i thought they were going to ask me is that someone alright..
but instead they went right through me..
then i realised that i'm no longer human..
i'm a soul roaming the hospital like the sick people i saw..
i went to where all my friends crowded..
i saw my body..
lying still..
with blood on the coversheet..
alex,some other friends..
cried all over me..
some even started to say what they had done wrong..
i listened to one of my friend..
he said that he didn't realise how much i had sacrificed..
then i caught sight of joan..
she said she didn't mean to break my heart..
she was trying to keep away from me so her friends wouldn't disturb her..
because of that.,
it caused my death..
she also said she've trusted me enough..
but maybe it's too late because i'm dead..
well it's just a dream..
and maybe dreams are messages to us..
to ask us to improve..
i'm not sure of the messages yet..
i'll figure it out anyway..
alright..
i'm going to rest and play some games..
bye..
Posted by ~angel arthas~ at 1:08 AM
Thursday, January 10, 2008
well today i was fucking pissed off..
really i was..
couldn't control my anger..
well lucky i shouted at nobody..
yet the best thing is,.
i can still laugh about it..
well in my heart..
tried to cheer myself up..
but it's not going to help..
the thing that made me pissed off is..
somebody did not tell me about his health..
really i was damn pissed off..
just starting to cool my head over the massive stress..
and then,.
another pile fall on me..
shit..
although he said not to worry,.
but it's never easy for me to see..
someone suffer..
while i'm happy..
actually i'm also suffering..
from massive pressure..
but the importance here is,.
care about others before your own..
i was really..
damn it..
nvm..
couldn't express it in words..
maybe this photos can show how i feel..
maybe not really how i feel..
just that i need something to ease my mind..
i really need to jam..
but i don't have the time..
nvm..
lazy to upload photos..
haha..
see how lost i am..
cannot even make up my mind..
shit..
fuck..
damn it..
son of the bitch..
go to hell you bastard..
burn your fucking ass in hell..
fuck your own mother bitch..
stupid mother fucking idiot..
sorry i have to swear..
because i have to convince someone..
to go out with me on valentine's day..
early planning..
so can get her to go out with me..
wish me luck..
Posted by ~angel arthas~ at 5:42 AM
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
back at last..
tried to get hold of the computer before my sister does..
but too bad i always come back home late..
shit..
stupid me..
haha..
today just recieved the official shirt..
i tell you,it's damn nice..
white with black stripe from the chest to i don't know..
haha..
behind is just a big word..
flight crew..
with our website on it..
cool..
imagine wearing it with the official pass..
but tucked in is like lame..
and i look kinda stupid if i tuck in..
luckily i'm a trainer..
so any hairstyle for me will be fine..
since the rest have to comb their hair..
haha..
but seriously i'm very glad that i'm able to do any hairstyle..
now i find myself like shit..
don't know why..
and guess what?.
i ended up in band 1 for english..
what a surprise..
and i didn't expect to get near passing marks..
for my test..
haha..
but mdm lau is my teacher..
cannot disturb the class..
i almost fell asleep in class..
and also qiu ling was surprise when she turn to find me sitting in the class..
i know by her big eyes..
haha..
but i'm going to hard so i can pass my exams..
my o level exams..
today also like shit..
i disturb bock aik..
about black pants all..
funny bastard..
just wants to be made fun of..
haha..
well somethings i have to say..
i like someone else..
haha..
really no joke..
find out who..
qiu ling is my good good friend like we used to be..
find out..
leave your answer in my chatbox..
i'll reply through your blog if its correct..
if you don't recieve my tag..
that means you're wrong..
Posted by ~angel arthas~ at 6:04 AM
Friday, January 4, 2008
everytime you smile at me
lets start the day,.
so come on girl..
will you come.,
to my place..
will you walk.,
into my heart..
so lets change it girl..
wait for the sunrise..
make it a date..
i wish to hold you..
chorus..
everytime you smila at me.,
you keep melting my heart away..
everytime you look at me.,
i'll feel great and so are you..
everything will stay the same.,
eventhough you ran away..
i will be there for you.,
will you be there for me..
today's the day.,
for me to go..
would you be crying.,
just to find me..
so is it the end?.
will this ever go on..
come on girl..
this is the start..
maybe you hate me..
just give me chance..
(chorus)..
everytime you smile at me..
everytime you look at me..
everything will stay the same..
i will be there for you..
how's that?.
my new song complete with music..
it's another success to me..
i'll record it..
and find someone with a better voice to sing for me..
it's quite a joyful song..
haha..
for your info,.
i can sing..
but different from what people sing..
i scream all throughout the songs..
haha..
that's more fun than singing..
well my life is sort of better now..
heck yeah..
joan not running away from me..
except a few times..
like today..
she hid behind a wall when i walked pass ops room..
haiz..
but the best part is..
she doesnt run from me anymore..
i guess so..
enough about that..
well today doesnt go as expected..
but i get to scold the sec 2s..
raise my voice..
tell them about what i expect from them..
tell them to change attitute..
yes ah..
but all that results to my worst..
sore throat..
damn it..
should have cleared my throat earlier..
got to go..
need to message joan..
haha..
Posted by ~angel arthas~ at 4:45 AM
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
well..
the first day of school..
4e2 man..
that's bloody fast..
it felt like yesterday was tuesday..
haha..
oh yeah..
yesterday is tuesday..
i'm lost of days..
shit..
haha..
what is the best thing to do after school on first day of school?.
it is stay back in school till 5 pm..
then i'll be tired like hell today..
slept from 1845hrs to 1906hrs..
haha..
shit..
today was like threatening day..
all the teacher pressured us about o'level..
everything about o'level..
it's like the test for judgement day..
what the heck?.
it's only an examination to determine our future..
yeah..
so what?.
nobody's going to die..
ok..
i got to agree that it's important event..
but pressuring us about it will only make it worst..
that is for me..
well don't want to talk about school..
only a bit..
i had to remove 2 servos,1 reciever and 2 ESC..
then have to wait till fadhli called to meet him at yishun mrt..
he briefly told me about what i'm supposed to do this friday..
well i'll try not to be a mr goodie..
maybe i'm a little too kind..
maybe not too little..
maybe too kind till the juniors climb over my head..
then the shirt got to arrive before next friday..
then i thought joan was still in school.,
i go back to school to give to her the souvenier from new zealand..
but while J-walking.,
i saw zi ling in the bus..
with Joan beside her..
damn it waste my time to walk back to school..
nevermind..
for her sake i'll have to sacrifice..
haha..
shit..
and also gave hidayah her necklace..
haha..
i hope she likes it..
what a great bapak i am..
haha..
and i'll get my keychain from her tomorrow..
ok..
nothing to post..
happy school days..
Posted by ~angel arthas~ at 5:37 AM