Saturday, October 17, 2009

"i wish you would just pull the trigger"
if you may,

damn..so tired..my ass hurts as if i've been bitten by a shark..my arms aches as if bees were trying to eat it..my face is burning like frying nuggets..this is what i hate about the carpark survey job..but desperate times need desperate measures..oh yeah..desperate..the culmination of 2 months of dying at home ended with a big bang..i'm working for the last 3 days of holidays..need the money..too bad..dick..

did anybody tell you it's bad to make someone wait?.maybe someone should have told you that recently..so all this while it was just an act?.what the fucking hell!?you broke something of mine and you're just gonna walk off pretending nothing happened?.i don't want to make wild accusations but the way i see it,you're just toying around with me..sometimes you are happy and hyped when talking to me,a minute or two later,your energy is diverted to someone else..it's like what the heck..i know i'm a dick..but i've told you my reasons..i'm sorry for what i have ever done..somehow i just know you're lying to me about being so understanding when you don't give a fuck about it..you can play around with me but one day somebody will play yours..and you'll know how it feels..three sentences you might be familiar with princess..

YOU cheat my feelings..YOU gave me false hope..YOU broke my heart..

p.s i miss you..and i adore you..

Posted by ~angel arthas~ at 8:22 AM

Monday, October 12, 2009

"i'm stuck in here"
stuck where?.

i'm dying of home fever..getting sick of home..getting tired of looking at the same things over and over again..and i'm damned pissed about doing the same thing every single day..i hate holidays..ok people have kept telling me to go out..yes i do go out to slack and take some fresh air but it's not enough..i need to see people from school..i miss them all..they are like my so called ignition to social insanity..well school is starting in 6 days time..my misery at home will soon end..

oh if you guys don't know what home fever is,home fever is my term of cabin fever..cabin fever is a kind of a sickness when you are too bored doing the same thing and confined in the same area for a long period of time..so symptoms that shows you suffer from home fever is ;
1] angry eyes
2] tend to sleep a lot
3] forgetful
4] emotional
5] weak

out of these 5 symptoms,i am suffering from all 5..seriously,i am sleeping late because i sleep a lot in the afternoon and sometimes night[2]..my eyes looks like chinese guy that has eye infection[1]..i sometimes forget to charge my laptop,handphones,do laundry and vacuum the house[3]..i get frustrated very fast and get really sad very fast[4]..everytime i wake up i don't have the energy to get myself to the door[5]..all 5 symptoms match perfectly..in conclusion,just like my hypothesis,i am suffering from home fever..

and basically my life has become so mundane that i have to entertain myself by hurting myself..for example,i slept on the floor at the bottom of a book shelf..on the top shelf,there's 2 hammers..one big and one small..so that night i just swing my pillow and it knocks against the shelf..and guess what,the big hammer fell right on my forehead..after that i had a massive headache and i knock myself to sleep..but lucky it's just a few cm drop from the shelf to my head..and these past few weeks,i've been going crazy with my guitar..i had a lot of inspiration that just flooded my head..in a week,i wrote 4 songs..isn't that crazy..sometimes it only takes me like a month or so to like compose a proper song..oh yeah..the stupidest thing i tried to make my self sleep is to tire my brain out..by playing strategy or puzzle games online..in the end it never worked..so my advice to you is,don't tire your brain if you are trying to sleep..because you'll only end up with a massive headache..

i need to let loose and get whacky with some people..oh maybe the cure for me is to see some shooting stars..that's what i've been wanting to see for like 7 months?.i need to go to the beach someday..

somebody save me!!

Posted by ~angel arthas~ at 7:18 AM